I Am NOT Just a Number

"If love is the greatest thing you can do, then loving with all you are is the greatest expresion you could ever make". (The Love Dare)...We are wired from birth to love, but many of us have "went all in", only to lose everything. So.. we fold... Over the years, the idea of love has become a Disney fairytale whose odds are as achievable as winning the powerball. We have become bitter at loving. We invest our "love" in people that are complacent and unthankful which catapults us into a self-made world of misery and bitterness. We have been burnt and the reflection of our hearts made manifest to all those around us screams of emptiness. Our love has become rude because of two things. We are ignorant of our rudeness or to selfish to care. But the thing is... love is not rude... Being rude in love includes embarassing and irritating comments, a foul mouth, sarcatic statements, and creating an unpleasant environment. It takes two... always... but remember ...

Perusing through facebook statuses on any given day, we notice several things... those that stay pretty busy (always running somewhere).. people with "loads 'o drama"... aggravating instances... jokes... trials... ppl counting down til the weekend... (its not even monday yet).. pictures depicting family outings... utube videos... political hinting... but very few blessings... many of us have followed each other's lives from all over the country as we wade through tribulations such as death... a sickness.. trouble at work... aggravation with co-workers... yet we fail to update our status... with the blessings as well as the "blahze"... why is it that we will notify the world... how angry we are at a fellow human being... or "check in" at a meaningless location... yet fail to share how blessed we are for the people we do have.. that love us... our families... God's love for us... despite us... I frequently check facebook status's to update my...

The sound of distant thunder along with a humming air conditioner and a creaky rocking chair splinter the silence of a dimly lit home that I sit in as I write this devotional. I have never heard silence at this place. The sound of laughter and loud voices have always permeated the small hallways and rooms. I look at the empty rocking chair and the large pair of slippers that once graced the loving feet of a grandfather so cherished and a tear slips away from me... I miss his laugh... most of all... and his spirit... I saw one of the strongest men I have ever known fight death and apologize to all those who watched... for leaving us... He never worried about himself... His last breath was fought to save all those around him from suffering... how truly reminiscent of our Savior... who also fought death to save a dying world from eternal suffering... I have suffered pain in my life...surgeries... a broken heart... a lost job... friction with others... a friend walking away... rejection......

Theres no better perspective of "suffering" than sitting in a hospital.. not as the patient... but as a guest... walking down the luminated hallways and glossy floors... passing each room... hearing cries for help... groans... and the rush of gurneys transporting suffering subjects to and from expensive flashy machines... (newfangled stuff)... While typing this, a crash is heard in the hospital room right next to where im visting with my grandpa.. its 6am... i hear the male nurse scream and yell for help... a cardiac patient had fallen face first on the floor...blood was everywhere... nurses were running... towells... supervisors.. incident reports... the drip of machines seemed louder... anxiety covered the entire floor as patients woke up from the fuss.. i looked at my grandfather... and he sat completely still... i was so thankful...that we do not leave him alone... to fall... not here... on this cold floor... i see his suffering eyes... 97 years of experience... he still ...