Using Her

"Most men want the maiden without any sort of cost to themselves. They want all the joys of the beauty without any of the woes of the battle. This is the sinister nature of pornography-enjoying the woman at her expense. Pornography is what happens when a man insists on being energized by a woman; he uses her to get a feeling that he is a man". - John Eldredge

Interesting and controversial view of pornography in today's society when XXX sites are one of the top viewed websites across the world. Eldredge in his book goes on to say "it is the paragon of selfishness. He (OR SHE) offers nothing and takes everything". He then goes on to talk about the beauty of women, "Pretty woman endure this abuse all the time. They are pursued, but not really; they are wanted, but only superficially. They learn to offer their bodies, but never, ever their souls. Most men marry for safety; they choose a woman who will make them feel like a man but never really challenge them to be one".

Unfortunately, because most men have not yet fought the battle, most women are still in the tower. Brick by hurtful brick, a fortress surrounds her. The deepest cry in a woman's heart is "am i lovely". This is when the warrior steps in and says "your worth fighting for". For some, this is too great an adventure... to slay the dragons, to win the beauty, but this is our problem in today's society. We are lazy and not prepared for battle. We are beer-bellied, lust driven, selfish, lazy, and proud. We have fought before and our too cold, to burnt out, to lacking... to pursue.

We want control, but forget its an illusion. Women don't want to be solved, they want to be known. That is to much work. Women are too mysterious, but mystery is essential for a true adventure. Life is not a problem to be solved, it is an adventure to be lived. Women like many men have a wound. They are hurting. They have been used, abused, and shamed in their battle through life. Many women are strong warriors, but many still are damsels in distress. Since the beginning of time, the Evil One has sought the woman out viciously. Eldridge says "if he can destroy her or keep her captive, he can ruin the story".

Why do some of us get lost somewhere between "once upon a time" and "happily ever after"? "Our culture has grown cynical about the fable" and "we've been poisoned by the fairy tales". Books like "The Death of Cinderella" tell an ominous tale of today's society. The truth is that we believed we could have the maiden.. without the fight and we never understood "the tower" and its relation to her wound".

"Beauty is not only a terrible thing, it is also a mysterious thing. There God and the Devil strive for mastery, and the battleground is the heart of men". -Fyodor Dostoyevsky

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