Drama Proofing Your Life

We all love a good drama in books, movies, or around the water cooler. The media knows this and showcases live drama on news broadcasts several times a day. For those lacking drama in their own life, read your Facebook wall and you are set. How do we then dramaproof our own life?

For many of us, we see everyone else as "drama queens" but rarely assume we fill that position. Au Contraire! Fundamentally, we have not been loved well and because of this find that we are a functioning player in a "drama" of some form almost every single day. In a drama, there are three players.

First there is the victim who says "Help! I'm blameless". This person feels constant hurt, focuses on their own pain, and shifts blame. Then there is the persecutor who says "I am right and I am powerful". Humility is disregarded and is masked in pride. The last role is the rescuer who says "I can help because I am special". These people believe themselves to be gifted in problem solving.

These are, according to family therapist Ray Kane, the characteristics of a drama. What is interesting about a drama, is that all the players become "victims" in one way or another. Power and control dominates while trust and love take a back burner. Blame shifting becomes the main response and is not healthy. Instead of taking personal responsibility for our own faults, we target the "wrong" of others.

Dramas are fueled by the traumas and pain in our lives. These traumas reveal themselves due to the lack of not feeling respected or loved in our relationships with family, friends, and at work. For many who crave attention, they are constantly the target of "persecutors" and constantly craving a "rescuer" in human form.

In dramaproofing our lives, we need to recognize our recurring role and attempt to disengage from this pattern. Dramas are a roadblock in our lives that keeps us from the ultimate goal of reflecting Christ in love. The journey of life is eliminating our roadblocks. To dramaproof your life, avoid all roles that lead to focusing on yourself be it "constant rescuing", victimizing, or persecuting. Realize that what is hidden behind dramas is sin and keeps us from transmitting a pure love to those all around us. Jesus told us the single thing expected from us is "to love one another". Take back your life and cut out the drama.

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