Skip to main content

Healing Waters


Recently, I went on my annual family vacation to the Adirondacks. It is a rural area of upstate New York surrounded by mountains, wildlife, and rivers. It is truly a beautiful place. I have been reading a book called "In the Wilderness" about how we are all looking for adventure in life to thrive upon when we put down our cellphones, computers, and other multimedia and really listen and look at ourselves. Sometimes this can be very difficult and for me it was. I am not accustomed to quiet. I have become content with chaos.

I sat around a campfire, hiked a steep mountain, fished the most peaceful river, and floated down rapids. In this time of solitude, I found myself explaining how far I've come this past year, and how far I have left to go. Who was I trying to convince? I can remain cool as a serial killer at work during the most stressful of events, yet the mountain air could not muffle my anxiety.

I have never been more happy with my life, but stress and the pursuit of control abounded in my heart. I have forgotten how to relax. In my "wilderness" adventure, I sought out man's approval of myself and threw away my textbook calmness.

I forgot that I should not have to convince others that I am a good person, I should walk "blameless" so that they can see it for themselves. The words that I say and my actions that are visible should be the convincing evidence.

Perfection will never be attained, and life will never be fair. I will be left out. I will be overlooked. I cannot demand respect and approval. The mountains cannot cure hurt. Hiking will not defeat affliction. If all I dwell on is life's atrocities, I will never find repair.

It is amazing that, if whoever is reading this really knew my every thought and action, they would never read this. Yet God does... and still loves me... Instead of being content with His favor and love, I tossed Him aside to fulfill my own ego. I thought I had accomplished so much.. only to realize... that I am eerily empty without Him.

NEWWORLDSON has a song out called "Sweet Holy Spirit". The lyrics are fitting:

Pride is weighing me down
It’s choking my heart
I’m chained up and bound
If pride is my prison
Then Grace be my key
Sweet Holy Spirit
Come rescue me

Worry oh what can I say
I’ve worried so much
I forget how to pray
Well I’m down on my knees
And this is coming from my soul
Sweet Holy Spirit
Come make me whole.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HEbs5ePV_6c

Comments

Anonymous said…
I may have to look into the book you reference, it sounds quite intersting. I myself, find it difficult to listen to myself also. I hope someday, I'll be able to enjoy the silence and be proud of the person I have become. Keep up the great articles, I enjoy reading your perspective on life.
July 14, 2011 at 11:16 AM
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Failure is a Gift

 I sat in the room, nervous. I had sensed this moment coming all week. Though I felt a small comfort and peace, deep inside, I was terrified. I was bracing for the letdown—far from my first. I made small talk with someone twenty years my junior, knowing that soon, he would ask me to step down. That reality was hard to face. My mind drifted back to my first year as a deputy. I had called my father repeatedly, distressed over my fifth write-up. Each time, he told me to thank them for the discipline, not to quit, and to keep my head up. But I was overcome with sorrow. I felt like a failure. Maybe I could earn straight A’s, but I had no common sense. I feared I would never catch on. I was beginning to give up. Still, my dad insisted I keep going. In my first week alone, I had discharged my weapon—firing over sixteen rounds at a bull on Super Bowl Sunday. Not long after, I found myself in a full-blown foot pursuit of an escapee, my face, mostly pride battered from the struggle. My track...
Post a Comment
Read more

My Weapon is a Melody

Every day can be a battle. A battle for our hearts, a battle for our minds, a battle to discourage, a battle to get out of bed, a battle to be content in whatever state we are in, a battle to bless God even in the darkest times. Satan seeks to crush and destroy us. When we are so focused on our own pain and battles, we are less useful. Think of a nice shiny car, but with a broken hose. This small hose can cause the entire car to be out of commission. This too is how Satan works in our life. He may sit back and watch us break with the smallest hose. That is all he needs to put us out of service. Many of us have been out of service for quite some time. This is because we have so focused on goals or things that may be outside our purpose. How do we fight battles in our life and overcome them? What should our only purpose be? Praise and worshiping God. That is it. God is constantly seeking out people who just want to worship Him. We constantly ask for blessings in our life, but how many ...
30 comments
Read more

Hurricane Milton: The Anxiety Chronicles

  October 8th is National Face Your Fears Day, and many Floridians are confronting that reality as Hurricane Milton approaches, less than 24 hours away. While the news is filled with alarming phrases like "explosive Category 5 hurricane," it only amplifies the anxiety of millions who already struggle with fear. Yet, in the midst of this, we must remember who is in control of the storm. "You rule over the surging sea; when its waves mount up, you still them." Psalm 89:9 "When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you." Isaiah 43:2 "The Lord is good, a refuge in times of trouble. He cares for those who trust in him." Nahum 1:7 The prophet Haggai had a word for the Israelites when they were focused on beautifying their homes and lives. They had the best decor, the latest tech, and endless feasts, but Haggai called them to take a hard look at their priorities  He said, “You’ve ...
Post a Comment
Read more