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A Conflicted Christmas

My thoughts surrounding Christmas this year was to rediscover what Christmas was really about. I attempted to saturate myself with Christian radio, christmas music, giving, and the real history behind it all. What surprised me during this quest, was the chaos that erupted all around me that fought for my attention.

I was steady sick with the flu almost the entire month and on top of that I had an incredible challenge with a person in my life that created a battle in a time I yearned for peace. Almost every day during the month of December, a new challenge would occur and my controlled chaos became uncontrollable. I was shocked that I was chosen for such testing during an amazing time of year. A battle between good an evil, forces beyond my control, fought for my attention and succeeded many times taking my eyes off who Christmas was really about and turning my focus on my own problems.

Many times, I felt like giving up. This trouble was to great for me to bear but amidst it all, though I strayed and fought to control, God was my defender. My eyes never stopped searching for His and as long as I looked to Him, God was in control. And though my problems are far from over, He still is my counsellor. Psalm 119 was a great comfort this weekend, because in reading I found that my "battle of sorts" is similar to that of Davids (the author of Psalms).

In verse 118 David says "You reject all who stray from your decrees, for their delusions come to nothing". (Those who wrong us for no reason with delusions of evil are not to great for God to handle). We may think they are but God sees the full picture while we see the simple snapshot.

In verse 98 David states "Your commands are always with me and make me wiser than my enemies". We may be looking at a battle in our lives that seems impossible to win, as did David when he approached the giant in his life. But God is so much greater than our giant. While many prepare for battle and put on their armor, David prayed. In verse 78 he states "May the arrogant be put to shame for wronging me without cause; but i will meditate on your precepts". This is how he prepared for battle.

In life, I have found that battles erupt in the most peaceful of places. Enemies evolve out of friendships. Hate has spilled out of a once loving heart. Hurt has saturated a holiday and heaviness of heart can spoil joy. I have sat in places I never thought I would sit. I have been exposed to an evil heart that I could never imagine. I have every reason to become bitter an angry at the unfairness of life but for what cause? I am so blessed to have great health, a great family, wonderful friends, and the things God has given me (my home, car, a great job, etc).

How can I then take these hurtful events, and turn my back on God? How can I hate my predicament when only one or two elements really sting for a season? Because this battle is for a season. A time for war..and a time for peace... May we all look to God when our life's giant looms ahead of us. May we have the courage to pursue justice, and the grace to allow our Father to lead. May we look for God and his lessons on the battlefield. May we forgive the unforgivable and search for ways to love.. in a world that could care less.

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