Rick Warren states that "resolving conflict is always better than dissolving a relationship". Many of us would stand up and say "um, you have not met my neighbor or co-worker or family"... and while you may be right.. Rick Warren has never walked in your shoes.. I took his advice tonight, walked across the street to a neighbor I had ignored for two years and resolved a relationship that I had once chose to dissolve. The blessing I received from that small act proved to me Pastor Rick was absolutely right.
I forgot that the easy thing to do is build walls.. but I was challenged today to instead.. build bridges.. face my fears, take the initiative, confess my part of the conflict, listen to the hurt, tell the truth tactfully, and fix the problem.
God calls us to not be a bunch of "peace lovers" but "peace makers". I have run away from conflict, God calls us to face it. When it comes to conflict, I'm called to make the first move. Rick calls it making a "peace conference" and timing is important. Before I walked over there, I prayed that God would just have my neighbor look at me and I would know that it was His will. She did and I approached her.
No matter how much we feel we may be right, we forget, that we all have "blind spots". Others see these spots a lot better than we can ourselves. Many of us have dissolved relationships because we feel as if we are "incompatible". This is a myth. Any two people can get along if they are mature. The real issue is "immaturity". I want what I want. Most relationships die from inflexibility. Try this line for size "Im sorry, I was only thinking of myself". The truth is.. that is most of our problems.
We forget that "hurt people.. hurt people".. If you really want to connect with people, listen to their needs. Listening is the key to resolving conflict. James 1:19 says "Be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry". We should seek to understand before we seek to be understood. How many of us do that? We use the "truth as a club" and pound it over each other's head. We are abrasive instead of persuasive.
We use "reckless words" like "weapons of mass destruction" (WMD's) on those we love. We lash out in angry rage which destroys everything in its wake. We choose hot button words, insults, blame, intimidation to get our point across. These words of "nuclear disaster" destroy everything around us and can never be taken back. Remember.. God has called us not to resolve every issue.. we will never agree on everything.. but to focus on reconciliation (reestablishing relationships).
In a world filled with international and national conflict, war, prejudice, etc.. we are called to be "agents of reconciliation". It is the single most Christ like thing we can do. That is what Jesus did for us. It is our job to bring people together.. not divide them. Matthew 5:9 says "Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called the children of God".
Today, may we build bridges not walls, choose maturity over pettiness, and put in action this blog and immediately reconcile those relationships we've watched fall apart. "Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing." Prov. 12:18 (NIV)
I forgot that the easy thing to do is build walls.. but I was challenged today to instead.. build bridges.. face my fears, take the initiative, confess my part of the conflict, listen to the hurt, tell the truth tactfully, and fix the problem.
God calls us to not be a bunch of "peace lovers" but "peace makers". I have run away from conflict, God calls us to face it. When it comes to conflict, I'm called to make the first move. Rick calls it making a "peace conference" and timing is important. Before I walked over there, I prayed that God would just have my neighbor look at me and I would know that it was His will. She did and I approached her.
No matter how much we feel we may be right, we forget, that we all have "blind spots". Others see these spots a lot better than we can ourselves. Many of us have dissolved relationships because we feel as if we are "incompatible". This is a myth. Any two people can get along if they are mature. The real issue is "immaturity". I want what I want. Most relationships die from inflexibility. Try this line for size "Im sorry, I was only thinking of myself". The truth is.. that is most of our problems.
We forget that "hurt people.. hurt people".. If you really want to connect with people, listen to their needs. Listening is the key to resolving conflict. James 1:19 says "Be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry". We should seek to understand before we seek to be understood. How many of us do that? We use the "truth as a club" and pound it over each other's head. We are abrasive instead of persuasive.
We use "reckless words" like "weapons of mass destruction" (WMD's) on those we love. We lash out in angry rage which destroys everything in its wake. We choose hot button words, insults, blame, intimidation to get our point across. These words of "nuclear disaster" destroy everything around us and can never be taken back. Remember.. God has called us not to resolve every issue.. we will never agree on everything.. but to focus on reconciliation (reestablishing relationships).
In a world filled with international and national conflict, war, prejudice, etc.. we are called to be "agents of reconciliation". It is the single most Christ like thing we can do. That is what Jesus did for us. It is our job to bring people together.. not divide them. Matthew 5:9 says "Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called the children of God".
Today, may we build bridges not walls, choose maturity over pettiness, and put in action this blog and immediately reconcile those relationships we've watched fall apart. "Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing." Prov. 12:18 (NIV)
Comments