Heart Slayer

In a restauraunt in South Florida, I let my tongue slip. That is my version, "slip". This is an easier way to label it than "I stood up in the restaurant, grabbed a Samarai sword, and plunged it into the heart of the person I was speaking to". The Bible gives us warnings of the danger of our tongue to include this version of a "verbal slip".
There is one who speaks rashly like the thrusts of a sword, But the tongue of the wise brings healing. Proverbs 12:18

I did not have this "tongue of the wise" and I never have. Instead, if I were theoretically selling my tongue, on Craigslist, the ad would read "If you need someone to cut another's throat in front of an audience, hire me". This sounds as if I were offering up "assassin services" and is not the spirit inside of me that I want to reflect.

I have always been a person who ignored danger signs or warnings. However, since I have a great love for the Lord, I can no longer let my tongues travel "unbridled". I must take "every thought captive" and "guard every word I speak". This "slaying in South Florida" was discouraging to me because I have been reading the book "Unglued" by Lysa Terkeurst that promotes "Making wise choices in the Midst of Raw Emotions".

I have found that I am an "external expresser" meaning, while in battle (i.e. conflict), I explode. I've also found that I am an external expresser that blames others. Let this sink in. I am also an external expresser that shames herself. My motto has been "sip the shame so you won't have to guzzle the regret". Another words, let it all out.

In the book Unglued it says, There is a big difference between a reaction and a reply. Reactions are typically harsh words used to prove how wrong the other person is. NO good ever comes from this. A gentle reply, on the other hand "turns away wrath". (Proverbs 15:11)

No swords, no cutting, no slayings.. just self-control. The one who holds their tongue is the one who holds the power. This is why I have never been powerful. I consider the quiet ones as weak, but it is I, the "external expresser", who is shamed and disgraced time and again.

So the slaying is done, the guilty plea is confessed, the punishment assigned.. What next.. How do I enter a new day and not complete the same cycle? Satan loves when we do the work for him. We explode.. The wise pause and measure our words to get at the heart of the issue without sabotaging the heart of the offender (Unglued). For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice (James 3:16).

I do not have to accept that "I will always be a slave to the raw emotions that catch me off guard". The best thing about the slaying is I have looked at my reactions and now see the underbelly of my heart. This is my unglued place and now that I see it, I can clean it. I cannot take it back, but I can confess and move to change. 2 Timothy 2:21 says "Therefore, if anyone cleanses himself from what is dishonorable, he will be a vessel for honorable use, set apart as holy, useful to the master of the house, ready for every good work". What an encouragement...