What to Pack When You're Dying

Many things become important when the notice is given that you are dying. Fashion, the latest trends, and gadgets are not important. The job is not even that important. What becomes important is circling yourself around friends and family for the last goodbyes and the precious time you are given. If you think about it, when a family member is told that grandpa is dying, the price of a plane ticket and the "inconvenience" seems irrelevant. Yet, rarely do we make a surprise visit to those we love very much to just sit with them while they are here. Goodbyes are very important to us. Many times because we don't want to live with the regret of never saying those precious words.

On Death: In the book, "Tuesdays With Morrie", an old professor is dying and he teaches a former student what becomes important in death. Morrie encouraged "becoming friends" with people instantaneously. We are scared to talk to someone sitting on the same bench. Yet, Morrie would say to every student, "I hope that one day you will think of me as your friend". Make many friends.

On Work: Morrie advised that many people leave their dreams behind for power, money, toys, and busyness. He advised that though their days are full, many are left "unsatisfied". "Dying is one thing to be sad over, living unhappily is something else". He also said "so many people walk around with a meaningless life.' 'They are chasing the wrong things'." Morrie gave these suggestions on his death bed: "Devote yourself to loving others, devote yourself to the community around you, and devote yourself to creating something that gives you purpose". This is living.

On Networking: Morrie chose not to die alone in his home. Instead he insisted on having a "pre-funeral" so that he could hear all the encouraging words his family or friends would say when he had passed. Instead of hiding alone until death, he opened his doors to his friends, colleagues, and family to come in and sit with him. He would listen.. He would love.. This beat the ever-looming sense of death.

On Status: Henry Adams once said "a teacher affects eternity; he can never tell where his influence stops". Morrie wanted his last pupil to know that "if you're trying to show off for people at the top, forget it.' 'They will always look down on you.' If you're trying to show off for people at the bottom, forget it.' 'They will always envy you.' 'Status will get you nowhere.' 'Only an open heart will allow you to float equally between everyone'." Allow yourself to love.

On Others: Mahatma Gandhi said "Each night, when I go to sleep, I die. And the next morning, when I wake up, I am reborn." Morrie believed each day was an opportunity. He believed the biggest defect with humans was our shortsightedness. "We don't see what we can be". "Invest in people". Morrie advised that when we are infants, we require others to survive. In death, we return almost to infancy and require others to survive. Here is the secret. "In between, we need others as well".

On The Perfect Day: Morrie was asked several days before he died what his perfect day would be. It was not a day with a celebrity or a trip to Italy. It was actually a cool brisk Autumn day, a nice workout at the gym, a lunch with friends, listening to the birds, and a night of dancing. Such a simple wish. Yet we take "this average perfect day" for granted.

Not all of us are given the death notice. Instead, we trudge along through life oblivious to what is important. We are self-absorbed, afraid to being taken advantage of, wanting "what's mine" now, demanding our rights, and forgetting what is truly important in life. We need to look out for each other, listen attentively, look people in the eye and be "fully present" when we are spoken to. We are so consumed with our own needs, we rarely cry over the pain of others. We read a sad story, but make no efforts to assist in change. We have hardened hearts. We are threatened by others. We regret. We do not make peace with ourselves. We do not accept the truth of death. We do not disengage. To truly live, we need to learn what to pack for death. What or who would you take with you? Go to your community nursing home. Be a volunteer. Have a true purpose that has nothing to do with a paycheck or status. This is a happy life.

This book is a true story. See below for link.
http://mitchalbom.com/d/books/3856/tuesdays-morrie